Tag: alone

After days of trying to fit it in our schedules, Anna and I could finally go on a proper date. We had a “date” last week if you count falling asleep on the couch re-watching Mad Men, a date. I know she’s excited about her new job, she’s already becoming a fine lawyer but I’ve been working for two years already and I always had time for her…us. Anna loved lobster so we settled on going to a lobster to-go place and then to my apartment. I arrived early at the restaurant and ordered for both of us. She got there about ten minutes later.
“So how was work?” I said and then started eating.
“Alright, we have this divorce case that is sucking the living joy out of all of us, the husband is a rich guy, the type that is not going to give away some money without giving a fight,” she said.
“Cool, I know you don’t like divorce cases but this seems interesting,” I replied.
“I hate them, I remember going with my mom to her divorce lawyer every week, it was horrible,” she said biting on her lobster roll.
“Do they have kids? The rich couple,” I asked.
“Josh, could we not talk about divorce anymore? And no, they don’t,” she replied seriously.
Anna looked tired and confused. I thought it might’ve been the whole divorce thing. She never understood why would people who are willing to get married stop wanting it. Sometimes I think she hasn’t broken up with me for precisely that reason, she wants to prove to herself right. Even if we’re not married, yet.
Once we were done eating we went for a smoothie and walked towards my apartment. I love Boston, it’s such a nice place, I’ve always liked it, that’s why I decided to stay there after college. I didn’t plan on going back to Utah with my parents, that’s for sure. We walked by the Old North Church, in my 5 years of living in Boston I never went there, it was always either packed with tourists or on service.
“Cool church,” I said hoping Anna would ask me to go inside.
“Not really,” she said drinking from her pineapple smoothie.
“Come on, I’ve never seen what’s all the fuzz about it,” I said.
“It’s an old church, it’s on the name,” she replied without looking at me.
I didn’t say anything, I could feel Anna was looking at me.
“Fine, let’s get in,” she replied with not a drop of enthusiasm in her voice.
We got in, it’s was white and wooden, just like anything old in America. I wasn’t impressed by it, I preferred the sun outside, to be honest.
“It’s OK, one less thing I have to see before I die, we can go now,” I joked.
Anna’s eyes were fixed on the organ.
“My parents got married here,” she said softly.
And that’s why she didn’t want to go there, I thought.
“Oh,” I gasped.
“I didn’t know, Anna, I’m sorry,” I continued.
“It’s fine,” she said dryly.
“I’ve been thinking, perhaps my parents were right, maybe it’s not meant to be,” she said, still not looking at me.
“Your parents thought it was the right choice to end it, it doesn’t mean they didn’t love each other,” I replied.
“I’m not talking about them, I’m talking about us,” she said.
I froze right there, I was unable to say a single word.
“Josh I don’t love you, or maybe I do, I don’t know, the one thing I do know is that I don’t want to be with you,” she said.
“Since when?” I said finally getting to form a sentence.
“Months,” she replied still looking at the organ but now a tear was sliding down her cheek.
We didn’t say anything else, she gave me what was left of her smoothie, like she always did, then looked one last time into my eyes, and left the church.

© Gabriel Berm